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There’s a devil at each level. On being ok with resistance.

As someone who has masterminds at the core of my work, it’s essential for me to be ‘in’ a mastermind myself. To feel into the experience and learn from it, to open myself up to support and growth, to invest in ‘me’ and who I want to become. This process helps me become a better leader of masterminds for my clients.

I’ve been in a few, but one peer-led mastermind I’ve been in for almost a year goes the deepest. And last week we shared two amazing days together at a spa hotel, opening up, going deep and allowing help.

We’d had it booked for a while, and we’ve committed to doing it more regularly because it was so, so powerful.

Each of us are at similar levels, with similar resistances to overcome.

And I wanted to share four things that really stood out, that I still suffer with, to show that – actually – blocks, resistances and self-sabotage aren’t things that just happen to those in the early days of business.

They also show up for those more established businesses and those who have successfully scaled. I wanted to share with you my own blocks, my own vulnerabilities because it’s from these that you really learn, not in the shiny success I share, but in my own journey, my own struggles and how I overcome them.

On the struggle to ask for help

There are four of us in this mastermind, and each of us struggle to ask for help, even when we ‘really’ need it. So many women struggle on, trying to ‘cope’, trying to second guess, trying to muddle through.

Many of us believe we don’t deserve it or we don’t want to bother people, even if people have offered that help. This is huge and self-worth came out as a big topic for me (more on that in a mo) which is closely linked to the ability to accept help. But by not doing so we stay stuck, unable to move forwards because we have no idea how to. So we keep muddling, keep struggling, keep coping. And it doesn’t work.

I’m getting better at this and am making a big effort to spot my gaps, spot my weaknesses and get help from the right people right away, but it’s still hard.

On the importance of self-worth

I could dedicate a whole post to this (in fact, I may soon). I do a lot of work around self-belief, self-love and self-worth. So many of us struggle with all three, particularly self-worth – which can be hugely detrimental to our personal and business growth. It can show up as:

  • An inability to accept help.
  • An inability to earn over a certain amount because we don’t feel we’re ‘worth’ it.
  • An inability to invest in ourselves because we can’t possibly deserve such a big investment.
  • An inability to show up and be visible because who are ‘we’ to do that and why on earth would anyone like us anyway.
  • An inability to charge what we’re worth and keep giving things away for free.
  • An inability to accept success – even when it happens – because we think we just don’t deserve it.

And it’s hard. It’s really hard. And it hit me hard realising that I still have this, lingering, holding me back. Luckily, I have my ladies to support me through this and point out when they think it’s showing up for me because it’s one I need to lean into and work through to help me move to the next stage of my business.

On keeping ourselves in the struggle

This was a big one for me. I’ve uncovered a money belief recently that I have to work hard for success and it can’t be easy. Each time it does happen easily, I struggle to accept it and usually fall into self-sabotage.

I’ve also identified that this belief keeps me IN the struggle. I stay stuck, working hard, doing more, adding more, making things more complicated, because it can’t possibly be easy.

I’ve committed to simplifying my business, making things easy and working hard to rewrite the belief. I’m lucky that I have a business already set up for ease, with passive and semi-passive income streams that work, funnels that are in full flow and a product suite proven to get results. All I need to do now is get out of my own way, stop over complicating things and accept that wealth and success can come easily to me (a lot of my self-worth work will come into play here too).

On not killing the golden goose

I’m borrowing this line from Denise Duffield Thomas, but so often we give, give, give without taking care of our business’ biggest asset – US.

My own feelings of self-love and self-worth mean that I often put my business and my clients ahead of me. And this just doesn’t work. As leaders, we need to put the oxygen mask on us FIRST, and then help our clients. We cannot perform at our highest when we’re operating at a low level, and by not ensuring we have a high-performance support system in place, we’re keeping ourselves at that low level.

I hadn’t seen just how much this was affecting me, and I was completely called-out by the ladies. But no more. I will be prioritising rest, down-time, self-care, diet and exercise. This is non-negotiable.

There was so much more that came out of the two days, as well as new ideas for my business and where my focus will be, but these four stood out as things that could resonate for you too. Have they? I’d love to know in the comments below.

We laughed, we cried, we played (it wasn’t all work, we had a full spa day and dinner), we supported each other through some deep, vulnerable moments. I’m honestly still recovering from the depth of the work, but it feels like I’ve already taken a huge step forwards.

THIS is the work, and this is why I run masterminds. If this level of support both online and in-person feels like the missing link for your personal and business development, then send me a DM to chat about my Elevate Mastermind, which opens it’s virtual doors for the last time in 2019 after the summer, or join the waitlist here to be one of the first contacted about it.