With life, with everything, we all have our unspoken rules we live by. The things we’re available for and the things we’re not.
As we go through life’s myriad of experiences, these rules can bend and flex to better support and protect us, and I’ve been reflecting on mine recently after a few shifts in how I do things, particularly how I use social media and how I now curate what I consume – which has created such a lovely, peaceful, supportive, inspirational experience online that I’m sharing this method with my community so they can do the same.
I scribbled my rules on this post-it a while ago, to use as a daily reminder, and I’ve fallen in love with that scrappy peace of paper as it’s guided so many decisions.
You see it’s all about choices. The things that only we’re responsible for, even when those irksome little mind monkeys come calling.
These are my choices, my rules.
Meaning over noise
The online world can be a bit shouty, a bit noisy, a bit shallow and empty, and I’ve made a conscious decision not to add to that. Instead I’m focussing on creating more meaning when the inspiration hits. I don’t create content when I’m scheduled to create content. I create it when I’m inspired, moved, when my intuition gives me a big hit that something should be shared. Just like this post. It means less content, but if that means I reach people at a deeper level, then job done.
Celebration over competition
When I see a competitor nail a launch, or create something new, or celebrate a win, I celebrate them. Because we ALL win when that happens. We’re a collective making huge change in the world. We’re influencing future generations, being the lighthouse for hope. And no matter who does it, that should be celebrated. This is a huge help if you’re prone to the green eyed monster (hey, we’re all human!).
First class companies over a fast buck
This one was inspired by my mastermind buddy and soul sister, Laura Phillips, who shares this mission. I’m not about helping people to get to 6/7/8 figures fast. I’m about helping people create sustainable businesses with longevity. World class companies that make a difference, that change the status quo, that make an impact, that inspire future generations. Yes I do help people reach big money goals fast too, but that’s more as a byproduct of what I teach, it’s not my main focus.
Peace over drama
There can be so much drama and negativity online and it breaks my heart. I’ve unwittingly been dragged into it in the past, and that has shown me that it has no place in my life or my business. Anything that affects my peace or my vibe, is not welcome. I embrace that which matches my vibe, and lovingly release that which doesn’t. Life has been so much calmer since I’ve been a stickler for this.
Love and kindness over negativity
Listen, we all have those annoying little negative thoughts creep in. We’re only human right? But I consciously choose to look at those with a filter of love, compassion and kindness, to remove that negativity as fast as I can. This is another vibe killer for me and I’m just not available for it.
Preaching to the converted over trying to convert
I grew up with a huge need for everyone to like me. It was exhausting. Thing is, we’re not for everyone, and that’s okay. If we were we’d all be the same – and that would make for a very dull existence. So instead of trying to convince those that might not be a good fit for me, I preach to the converted instead. I focus on those who ARE for me. I’m going all in on my community because I love them. Each and every person who reads a post and clicks like. Who joins my list or group. Who buys anything of mine. I’m going all in on the love. This has created some new ideas for my community that I can’t wait to bring to life. It started with a new Facebook group for my alumni a little while ago. If you’re an ex client who loves what I do and you’d like to join (and you’re all fully paid up of course) then send me a message and I’ll ping you the link. Even if it was years ago.
Serving over self promotion
Showing up to serve, through my content, through my products, through my mentoring, is my only focus. It’s not about how much money I make. My big goals. My big achievements. It’s about serving my people. Period. When I stopped talking about me so much and come from this place, I’m far more aligned. Now that doesn’t mean I’ll stop sharing my stories, I think that’s important. But that’s very different from gratuitous self promotion (which as an introvert I’ve always struggled with).
Putting my oxygen mask on first
This is all about prioritising your self before anything else. Thing is, to lead, to influence, to guide, you need to come from your best self. As someone who has struggled with self worth and self love, I didn’t do this and tended to put my business, my clients and others ahead of my needs. What I didn’t realise is that by doing so, I was reducing my power, my skills, my strengths as my health and mindset suffered. Developing adrenal fatigue in 2019 was a wake up call that things had to change, and it’s been for the better. By putting myself first, and lovingly releasing anything that creates stress, I’ve been able to heal and step back into my power. And that’s exactly where I need to serve from.
These rules have made a huge difference. They keep me aligned, they reduce stress, they attract my soulmate clients and repel those that aren’t, they give me more joy, they keep me hooked into a higher purpose, and from that place I do much better work. And when I do that, we all win.
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