On turning envy into a positive

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Welcome to the latest episode of The Simply Smart Business Show. In this show, I’m tackling the horrible topic of envy, jealousy and comparisonitis (things we all suffer from, from time to time).

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With all of these carefully curated social media profiles we see our peers doing really, really, really, really, really, really, really well, and, in the most part, we feel good for them. But sometimes there is a bit of a niggle. There is something that might make you feel a little bit envious.

You might wonder why them and not you, and why aren’t you having the same level of success. It may get worse. You may see them and feel frustration or dislike, or even hatred. It doesn’t feel logical because they’ve done nothing other than share their stuff online. But you have this really strong emotion towards it.

It can be quite confusing. More often than not we just think we really don’t like that person.

It’s happened to me before. I’ve always been very competitive, but I’ve never been particularly envious or jealous. So when I started to feel that, I didn’t quite understand what it was about until I dug a bit deeper and really thought about it, and thought, “actually, I really want to do what she’s doing and I can’t.” (This was at a time when I really struggled with visibility.)

When I realised that, that it actually wasn’t about that person and it was about my own fears, and I started to think, “Well, I obviously need to work on those fears and start working on how to get myself out there,” I started to like her. I started to see her for what she was. I started to really respect how she put herself out there. In fact, she’s now one of my favourite, favourite people on planet internet, and I think of her as a friend.

Those negative feelings weren’t about her, it was all about me.

What it taught me was what I was feeling about her was actually a mirror for how I was feeling about myself. I’ve looked at that for other people, and it’s normally either they’re doing something that you really want to do and you can’t do, or they’re doing something that you really don’t like about yourself and it mirrors you that way.

Now, whenever I feel any kind of envy, jealousy or comparisonitis, I use it for fuel for my own personal growth. I use them as inspiration (sometimes actively, sometimes subconsciously).

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For those conscious souls ready to step up and serve. Suitable for established or new coaches.